the importance of environmental protection
as we walk through the streets, we see garbage scattered everywhere, the air filled with pollution, and trees being cut down for more buildings. it's like the earth is crying out for help, but we're too busy to notice. i remember when i was little, the sky was clearer, the rivers were cleaner, and birds sang happily. now, it's all different. the environment is suffering, and it's our responsibility to change that.
one day, i saw a little bird struggling on the ground, covered in oil. its wings were stuck, unable to fly. that moment, i realized how our actions affect not just us, but also the creatures around us. we pollute the air they breathe, the water they drink, and the land they live on. it's a vicious cycle, and unless we break it, things will only get worse.
we should recycle more, use less plastic, and plant more trees. but sometimes, i feel like my small efforts won't make a difference. however, every little step counts. if everyone does their part, we can make a big impact. just imagine, if each person saved one plastic bag a day, how many bags would we save in a year?
sometimes, i wonder why we don't take care of the earth as we do our homes. both need love and attention, right? but then i realize, it's because the earth seems so vast, and we think our actions won't matter. but they do. each drop makes an ocean, and each action, no matter how small, contributes to the bigger picture.
in conclusion, we must understand that the environment is our home, and we need to protect it. we can't keep ignoring the signs. the earth is sending us signals, and we must listen.
老師評語：
the essay demonstrates a sincere concern for the environment, but there are some grammatical errors and areas needing refinement. the transition from personal anecdotes to general statements could be smoother. the sentence 'it's like the earth is crying out for help, but we're too busy to notice' is powerful, but the following sentences lose the momentum.
內容亮點：
the author effectively uses a personal anecdote to convey their message, making the essay relatable. the metaphor of the earth crying out for help adds emotional depth.
優(yōu)化參考：
the paragraph about the little bird could be more focused, with a clearer connection to the larger theme of environmental protection. also, the transition from the bird's plight to the broader issue could be smoother.
批改后作文
as i strolled through the park, a sight struck me: a tiny bird, drenched in oil, floundering on the ground. its once vibrant wings were now limp, a poignant symbol of our neglect towards the environment. this incident made me ponder - how often do we overlook the consequences of our actions? our pollution affects not just ourselves, but every living creature sharing this planet. the earth, like our homes, requires constant care and attention.
each of us can contribute to the solution. recycling, reducing plastic usage, and reforestation are small steps that, collectively, can bring about significant change. the analogy of a single plastic bag saved per day adds a practical dimension to the argument.
in the end, it's crucial to recognize that our actions, however insignificant they may seem, have a cumulative effect. the earth's vastness should not deter us; rather, it should inspire us to act, knowing that every drop, every action, contributes to the ocean of change.
作文寫作素材：
閱讀參考
1. "silent spring" by rachel carson
2. "the sixth extinction" by elizabeth kolbert
3. "cradle to cradle: remaking the way we make things" by william mcdonough and michael braungart
4. environmental science textbooks
5. lessons from "our planet" series on netflix
