last summer, i went to my grandparent's village for vacation. it was a place far from the city, where the air was so fresh and the sky so blue that it made me feel like i was in a painting. the days were hot but the nights were cool, filled with the sound of crickets and the gentle breeze rustling through the trees.
one day, my grandpa took me fishing at the nearby river. i was so excited because i had never fished before. we sat there for hours, our lines dipping into the water, waiting for the fish to bite. i got bored and almost fell asleep when suddenly, my line jerked! i yanked it out and saw a tiny fish struggling on the hook. i screamed with joy, not caring that i had woken up the whole village.
another time, i helped grandma in her garden. she showed me how to plant tomatoes and how to tend to the flowers. i accidentally stepped on a seedling while trying to reach for the watering can, and felt terrible. grandma just laughed and said, 'that's okay, dear. plants grow back stronger.' her words made me realize that mistakes are part of learning.
there was this one evening, when we all gathered under the stars. my grandpa told stories about his childhood, and i could see the twinkle in his eyes as he spoke. it made me wish i could have lived in those times too.
however, there were some challenging moments. like the time i tried to ride a bike without training wheels. i kept falling, scraping my knees and elbows. but i didn't give up. eventually, i managed to ride a few meters without falling, and the sense of accomplishment was immense.
my summer vacation wasn't perfect, but it was unforgettable. it taught me patience, resilience, and the beauty of nature. it also reminded me that mistakes are opportunities for growth.
老師評語：
本文生動(dòng)描繪了作者的鄉(xiāng)村夏日體驗(yàn)，情感豐富，但部分語法稍顯不足，如'the sky so blue that it made me feel like i was in a painting'應(yīng)改為'i felt as if i were in a painting with the sky so blue.'
內(nèi)容亮點(diǎn)：
文章描繪了生動(dòng)的鄉(xiāng)村生活畫面，尤其是作者的情感變化展現(xiàn)得淋漓盡致。如對釣魚的期待與驚喜，踩壞植物后的愧疚，以及學(xué)會(huì)騎車的成就感。
優(yōu)化參考：
部分描述可以更加細(xì)膩，如'the gentle breeze rustling through the trees'可改為'the breeze whispered secrets through the leaves, creating a lullaby-like symphony.'
批改后作文
last summer, i ventured to my grandparents' idyllic village for a respite from the bustling city. the air was pure, the sky an ethereal blue, evoking feelings of being ensconced within a masterful canvas. days were sweltering, yet the tranquility of the night was soothing, serenaded by the chirping crickets and the whispering wind through the rustling foliage.
one memorable afternoon, grandpa initiated me into the art of fishing. we spent hours in companionable silence, our lines dancing in the river, anticipating the telltale tug of a fish. as sleep threatened to overtake me, my line suddenly jolted. i yelped in exhilaration, stirring the slumbering village with my triumph – a tiny, wriggling fish on the hook.
in grandma's garden, i discovered the intricacies of nurturing life. under her tutelage, i planted tomatoes, inadvertently crushing a seedling in my eagerness to fetch the watering can. instead of scolding, she chuckled, 'accidents happen, dear. but plants, they bounce back stronger.' her wisdom instilled in me the value of learning from errors.
one starry night, our family congregation shared laughter and stories. grandpa's eyes sparkled as he recounted his childhood escapades, transporting me vicariously to a bygone era. that moment, i yearned for the simplicity of those times.
despite the mishaps, like the numerous tumbles while learning to ride sans training wheels, my summer vacation was a tapestry of memorable experiences. each stumble taught me patience and resilience, and every successful ride fueled a surge of triumph. this imperfect, unforgettable summer was a poignant reminder: mistakes pave the way for growth.
作文寫作素材：
閱讀參考
《夏洛的網(wǎng)》、《小屁孩日記》、《湯姆·索亞歷險(xiǎn)記》等書籍，以及小學(xué)課文《鄉(xiāng)下人家》和《學(xué)騎車》等相關(guān)篇章。
相關(guān)詩句
1. 伯鸞長嘯出東都，來卜龍邱二畝居。千歲仍昆作英語，五噫文采尚周馀。胸中萬卷未得力，堂下一言誰識(shí)渠。我亦微官方冷甚，恨無燕玉可相噓。
